I. am. so. screwed. It's about you too. I'm screwed because of you. Life is screwed up. I sucks to be the only child, you know? It's irritating when I try to make myself to do something, but I can't. During practice, I screwed up really bad for that 临安遗恨 song. Curses to me and my terrible counting skills. I return home, and it's just me. Then I start thinking. Hopefully that jinxes it and I'll start to play well.
The worst part is that I haven't even practiced 渔歌. I haven't gotten the hang of that song yet. Then I start to feel fucking lonely, and I wish that you were by my side. And the practices are taking up quite a lot of my time. I was supposed to bake with Jaime on monday, but looking at how terrible the practice was for me today, I've got to PRACTICE!!!!!! But the worst part is that I'll never be able to get that. Your presence beside beside me is a 'never'. Now I'm feeling terrible for saying I can't bake with her and all that. Dammit. =(((
I'm in a terrible position to say that these practices are taking up my time, but if everyone is working hard, I should not slack too much, right? Solitude is good. Sometimes, I really wish I've got a 中音笙 at home. But loneliness, is just sad. Either that or me, sleeping over in the CO room. Then I can practice until late at night. I want to help others with just my presence. But who's there for me? Argh, I'm so mad at myself! =(((
-------------------A world Of PeaCe--------------- ; {10:05 PM}
